Sweet Nothing

Make time for pillow talk

The next time you’re in bed with your mate, take time to talk. Experts say that pillow talk– expressing your sexual desires–is part of our natural human need to bond and should be encouraged, as it helps form a stable foundation for a relationship.

Research also shows that men tend to emit androstenone, and female exposure to that pheromone increases the currency and depth of male-female bonding.

This “love pheromone” not only brings you closer to your mate, it also does the trick in heating things up in the bedroom. Cuddling and talking, while being exposed to the pheromone, could not only transform your sex life but maybe even your personal life.

Get vocal Pillow talk not only acts as a powerful communication bridge between couples, it also heightens sexual anticipation and excitement. This is especially true for women as a woman’s signs of pleasure are not naturally as obvious as a man’s.

The way a woman expresses her desires makes it very exciting for the average man, as he now knows exactly what his mate wants and how to give it to her. It will also be highly erotic for him to think that his mate could do something so sexy.

The biggest obstacle as far as pillow talk is concerned is the courage to actually get vocal. Couples may be hesitant due to social or religious upbringing, as well as misconceived taboos about sexual behaviour.

Some may even view it as Western behaviour. Yet the fact remains–pillow talk can do wonders for your relationship.

Here are a few tips for those who lack the courage or experience, but are keen to be open-minded about pillow talking.

• Make it consensual Establish a few ground rules so that talk is consensual. Some partners may feel awkward or be put-off by certain types of pillow talk and this will certainly have a negative impact on the relationship. Everyone has specific requirements about the language they use so do find out beforehand what works for your mate.

• Trial runs If you don’t know what to say, then get some help, as people are not born with a sexual vocabulary. There is a lot of material out there that can help increase your armoury of sexy words, so memorise a few that you feel comfortable with.

Practice saying them aloud in front of the mirror and progress from there. A word of caution: Don’t make the run up to your pillow talk tedious and boring. Make it sweet, short and extremely sexy, and you’re on your way to some super boudoir action.

• Phone sex An option for those who don’t dare do it face-to-face. Calling each other during the day and making pillow talk over the phone is a great way to heighten anticipation. You can create sexy images or scenarios for your partner and that will certainly make the homecoming a hot one!

• Sincerity This is perhaps the most important part when it comes to relationships and pillow talking. No matter how sexy your vocabulary becomes, it is essential to create an open, understanding, and sensual relationship with your mate. The feeling of security that develops as a result will not only be liberating, but will also form a solid foundation for your relationship