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The best and worst gift to mankind

Women have always been very complicated animals and it did not take long before men started to realize that they must not rely on their own strength, but the divine intervention of… well anything really.

There will never be enough advice and solutions in catching the interest of, getting and maintaining a woman. It is a constant pursuit between both in a relationship, to understand the kinks of each other. Even in homosexual relationships, there is always one who is more masculine, undertaking the traits of a typical man and the other basking in femininity – she who is ignorant to the fact that it may sometimes be a pain in the posterior. This vicious cycle never ends, thus, the consistent demand and supply for enlightenment of what exactly are women made of.

The Interest

So you caught the eye of the lady at the bar, she is with her friends and she has a drink in her hands. You have seven minutes to establish eye contact with her. Take glances (not gawk), but at the same time continue to have conversations with your pals. Let her know you have taken notice of her, but not the satisfaction that she has unknowingly stole the limelight of your stage.

The efforts of establishing the connection coupled with subtle confidence, should earn you a response – in the very unfortunate case that she does not reciprocate, well pal, there’s always another. Be mindful that there is a very thin line between confidence and arrogance, with that said however, it results in almost polar opposite reactions.

This is where you walk towards her, no, not to immediately chat her up, instead, talk to her friends.  If she has guy friends within her company, it will be a lot easier. Male friends get protective when they sense an ‘intruder’, so break the ice with casual conversations and this includes not flirting with her other female friends. This is a double-barreled technique – receiving approval from her friends is half the battle won (you will also be able to find out if she is attached), and the anticipation of making conversations with you on top of the eye contact before will definitely intensify her interest in you.

Should luck be with you and you find yourselves on the dance floor, this is not the part where you put on your dancing shoes and have ‘auto-roaming’ hands, but instead, reign in your hormonal horses, leaving your hands on her waist at the very most. But of course even with that said, do not keep your distance from her. Being able to show your interest but at the same time keeping it appropriate is attractive too.

It is only natural that you want to bust a move (if you have any, that is), but unless you are Channing Tatum – heartthrob from Step Up – take a  cue from Will Smith’s ‘Hitched’ and keep it simple.

It is the end of the night, she has to go with her friends and you with yours, if it hasn’t been that great, remain classy nevertheless, tell her it has been a good night, ask for her contact and bid your goodbyes. However, if that night is only the beginning, repeat the above mentioned and always text to check if she got home safe.

The ‘Conquer’

This stage unlike the previous is less tricky as you’ve got the foundation work done. However, this is the part where you either make it or break it.

You both are probably texting now – if she’s replying steadily and most of her messages framed in a way that the conversation continues, she’s interested so turn up the heat and ask her out.

First dates are when you take her to a nice place, give your best shot and make sure you leave a good impression. But a nice place does not equate to a fancy restaurant, this applies even if you have the resources to.

Posh restaurants may be great, but it provides a very formal setting, one which may not be ideal if you want her to be able to let her hair down and share her ideals with you. The other downside of making your first impression with such a big bang is that you are setting yourself up for a very big pair of shoes to fill in subsequent dates.

Bistros are good alternatives, usually with a live band setting the ambience, the laid back setting is a natural ice breaker. Not to mention that bistros present a good balance between classy and chill. Fast food joints on the other hand, in case you were considering, are a no-go. They are cheap and messy to eat. You want your first date to be a memorable one – with your insights and not how you totally got ketchup on your shirt.

The most important thing in building a relationship is the communication, find a balance between having her talk about her life and at the same time you have your input as well. This is your chance to bring out the ‘big guns’, to charm her with what you got.

There is a theory that men think of sex every seven seconds, now that you have an attractive lady sitting right across you, that theory definitely applies, and probably even more active than usual. Distract yourself by channeling that energy into listening instead. It is an integral part in communicating, listen to what she likes, her goals and her life and use them to your advantage.

The key here is to keep the conversation going, awkward silences are inevitable during the first couple of dates, but you don’t want to be typical do you? Don’t be afraid of asking questions, and by that I don’t mean ‘are you a virgin?’. Ask questions which give you an idea of who she is and what she is made of, it goes a longer way than knowing how many man she has bedded or what she had for lunch.

The Maintenance

First things first, girls are not difficult to appease, so anyone who says otherwise just don’t know better.

The ability to read non-verbal cues is your most important survival skill and this is applicable to not only in a romantic relationship but almost every other aspect in life. There are things that are more difficult to express at times, things such as, ‘you forgot our anniversary’, ‘you promised a date night but you would rather laze at home’ and ‘why don’t you volunteer to wash the dishes’.

The list goes on. Verbalising thoughts and feelings aren’t women’s forte, that is why whenever asked if anything is wrong, they don’t give a straight answer. Since the odds of men changing that mindset is almost as slim as a cat barking, you are better off reading their body language and try to figure out what is going on.

Balance is key. Women need to be doted on and given in to sometimes. There are men who have a full grasp of this idea, whereas others not even close. You cannot always give in to a woman, this will result in her expecting the same every time there is a fight or if she doesn’t get her way. In a long run, you will find yourself always giving and never receiving. On the other hand, if you are so self-centered that you do not see the benefits of letting the girl have her way at all then you are driving the relationship into the ground.

Trust in a relationship is like beef patty in a burger, without it, it is bland and not appealing. There will be times when you just want to hang out with your mates and go to a bar. Having a trustworthy track record will be extremely helpful in having her off your back. You don’t want her to keep calling, or texting, wanting to know what you are up to, where are you and what not, so earn your trust and it will go a long way.

The only thing women don’t trust is other women. But since that cannot be avoided, your job is to prove that you can fend for yourself and most importantly, the relationship you share with her. Unless polygamy is what you both have decided upon, note both, then by all means, nothing is stopping you now.

Women can be a huge pain, but at the same time, they can also be the best thing that has ever happened to you. Fully utilise these tips and if at the end of it, it still does not work out, well pal, I have said this before, there is always another and at least this time, you can safely say you have tried.

Posted by ezyhealth on Aug 15 2011. Filed under Lifestyle. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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